I don't understand
by lililupin
Summary: A re-write of the wonderful Take the Key And Lock Her Up. My idea of what could have happened...


**Take the key and lock her up - Ally Carter re-write.**

When I wake up, I know I've been screaming. My throat is raw, and I can see Alexei, Jamie and Dominic all gazing down on me. Dom is putting pressure on my wrist, looking utterly helpless, as if transfixed on a terrible thought. Jamie is slumped against a wall gazing but not really seeing me, as if he's just in a terrible dream, holding me down as I thrash in my sleep. Alexei is shaking me roughly, almost desperately and is standing above me, the only one mentally present in the room.

Blood covers the bed and I squirm away from it. Jamie isn't having any of it though, tightening his hold. I scream at the panic rushing in the room. They're all telling me to calm down, but I can't, I won't. And then I see the knife covered in blood over the carpet. I yell something about someone trying to kill me, but then I realize that if that was so, they would wake me. They would have heard the noise of someone breaking in and there would be a full-blown fight going on right now.

Slowly, I stop fighting and whimper at how suddenly my strength seeps out of me. Jamie's hands fall from my elbows but are checking my pulse and his fingers never leave my right wrist. I can feel the pain and see the blood coming from my left wrist, but I have no idea how it got there. Dom is putting a solvent on the cut but a sudden burst of energy-or pain-rushes toward my body and travels toward my neck. I can feel my airways cave in and I get head rush, so I know I'm now standing. They push me back down and I can breathe again. That doesn't stop me from fainting, though.

When I wake up again, I feel weak and helpless. It makes me angry and jealous that the three strong broad men, just initially silhouettes, in front of me are so… healthy. I'm hooked up to about 3 machines, 2 are connected to my neck and one to my calf. My wrist has a clean, fresh bandage on it, but blood is already seeping through. I'm so confused I'm about to ask why I'm in this state, but then a big boom goes off in the distance and everyone starts to panic again.

Alexei's trying to scoop me up while Jamie carries the machine, but the panic reaches me and I'm speaking a language that doesn't exist. I don't know when Dom left the room, but I can hear flesh against flesh in a battle outside. I struggle free of their grasp and expect to land on my feet, like I normally would, but my strength fails me, and I land next to the knife, on my leg. Jamie and Alexei are trying to grab me but I'm kicking, thrashing again and before I know it, I'm absent-mindedly picking up the knife and sticking it in my stomach. I don't feel any pain, though.

The knife stayed in my stomach as Alexei picks me up and gently hauls me over his shoulder, with the tiniest amount of hesitation, careful of the knife impaled in my stomach. I can just about hear the beeping of my pulse on the machines falter and weaken as Jamie and Alexei tell me to breathe. It becomes a sort of chant and I murmur it to myself in several different languages. As they run with the same footsteps, I can see Dom's face blurry and bloody staring as we run, as he fights 2 men at once. We're running to a van about 20 metres from me, and when we get there, I'm shoved in the back of the van and Alexei and Jamie close and lock the doors behind us. Now my only fuel to stay conscious is pure adrenaline. The doors to the front of the van are slammed open and I jolt from my lying position I didn't realise I was in and yell at the sudden pain swamping my torso. I realise the man getting in and violently revving the engine was Dom and smile and begin to laugh, despite the pain. Blood comes out of my mouth and trickles onto the floor, but the laughter is stubborn in my system.

Everyone, even Dom, who is driving, turns to stare at me worriedly. The beeping stops altogether and the van seeps into darkness. But they aren't letting me slip that easily. Dom is now in the back of the van and we have stopped. They are pumping an orange fluid into my thigh via the tube and I am undecidedly calm and numb.

It feels nice in a way, even when Dom removes the long knife from my torso. Jamie is taking off his hoodie and it is being shoved on my torso. They unravel the long bandage from my wrist and instead tie it with a strip of Alexei's navy shorts. The bandage fits around my stomach easily, a positive fact of being seriously underweight. All the way through this, I'm staring outside into the cloudy, murky sky. Completely oblivious to the blinding pain and the nervous orders given to and from the boys. The 3 men work over me perpetually worried about the doom I'm bound to face.

When Dom is satisfied I'm stable for now, we continue driving, all the while Alexei's rough hand refuses to leave from around my waist, keeping me safe and warm. Jamie stares outside, keeping watch anxiously.

. . .

I wake in a cheap motel, I am aware that I am bound to the bed posts. I groan in an uncomfortable way and all different types of noises pour from my mouth. The beeps of my pulse are weak, but steady. I'm still drugged up and so I don't get out of the restraints, only try to make out the 3, masculine shadows. They step out of the shadows and all bristle when I reach to free myself. I can't do it though and begin to whine. They all step forward to attempt to calm me, but I curse the lot of them and don't step another inch closer.

I squirm as the drugs recede away, and one arm is freed from the rope's grasp. Alexei eases closer and in a flash, he's holding down my shoulders. I scream but the sound transforms into a gargle as blood rises from my throat. I'm gagging, but a belt holds down my neck and threatens to strangle me. The boys share a look before Jamie un-does the belt. I'm still gagging. Though and so with a month's worth of hesitation, my hands are freed, but Alexei holds my upper arms firmly, readying for a struggle on my part.

The drugs have disappeared out of my system so the give me another, slightly larger dose. I'm violently sick, though most of it's blood. I cry afterwards and its pure misery so I'm completely freed and melt into all of them, one by one. After 4 hours of sobs, the boys finally decide to trust me, and the only restraint now is rope tying me to Alexei. And, of course, a bugged bed. I've asked them a thousand times over what this is for, but they look away in disappointment. No one says a word but me and I become frantic.

I scream and yell and tug at my hair involuntarily. Then, finally, they tell me.

"Gracie, are you self-harming?" Dom began.

"What?! No!"

"Suicidal?" I shake my head in shock. No one says another word.

After more hours of me interrogating them, I give up. I have a seething headache, and am tired, but for some reason I don't want to sleep.

"Come on, Gracie, go to sleep." Alexei coaxes but I don't want to. He sighs and rubs my back. I feel his neck moving and know he's giving Jamie a 'meaningful' stare, but I'm too tired to care. "Gracie, why don't you go lie on the bed and you can prove to us you don't want to go to sleep, yeah?" His voice too is low and soothing. I get up with a sigh. As soon as my head touches the pillow, I'm out.

When I come to, Alexei's arm is around my waist; I must have jostled a lot in the night. I groan as I stretch because of the pain and Alexei wakes. "Gracie, what's wrong?" His voice is worried and I regret waking him up unintentionally.


End file.
